Thursday, March 21, 2013

Stupid Things That Bother Me, Part 1

Alternate Title: Why Utah should be the New Mid-West.

I don't usually get too irritated by the things that normal people my age do, like politics and fights with asshole boyfriends/girlfriends. I do, however, get really irritated over completely idiotic things. So, I thought I'd share those things with you. Please keep in mind that I'm sick and laying in bed right now. I'm half-asleep and I've been taking cold medicine since Monday. So, if this doesn't make any sense, now you know why.

So, the first completely ridiculous think that I get irrationally pissed off about is the Midwest. 

No, this isn't going to be a rant about how I hate living in MI and wake up every morning questioning why I moved here. It's also not about how I hate Wisconsin and like to pretend it doesn't exist. None of us have time to read that post. This is about the title "The Midwest."

Let's look at some maps.

This is what comes up as a result if you google "midwest." And I think most of us agree that this is what they teach us in grade school when we are learning about the map. Here is where we get into the part that irritates me. Look at this next map.

That region in the first picture is in the right half of the country. The EASTERN half. The half that I grew up in. There is nothing mid or western about it. Far-east? Yes. Mid-North America? Sure, I'll give you that. 

The middle of the western side of the United States? No. That would be Montana, Wyoming, Utah, Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, and Idaho. Mostly Utah, though. It's smack dab in the middle of the western half of the United States.  

Please tell me someone else has realized this and that I'm not all alone in my geographic insanity.

Anyone want to petition to get the midwest title reassigned to Utah?

No? Okay. I'll go back to watching Weeds on Netflix and sleeping now.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Guest Posting....Kind of?

I'm posting over here today about spring break essentials for every budget. I'd love it if you'd check it out even if you're not going on spring break. Don't feel bad, I'm not going on spring break either. I'll be working. Yay?

Also, if you were wondering what school I go to or what extracurriculars I'm involved with, that blog should pretty much give it away. So, there's a little glimpse into my personal life I guess... I don't know why, but I love knowing stuff like that about other bloggers. But, maybe I'm just nosey.

Also, is it really a guest post if I am going to be posting there weekly/bi-weekly? No? Oh well.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Happy Valentine's Day to Each and Every One of You! - May your Valentine's Day be full of all the sinful things people are giving up for Lent.

So, I had a post written up for today that I typed up a week or two ago. But, it came out sounding a lot more cynical that I ever intended it to, So...I'm pretty sure I'm not going to post it. But, I did want to stop in a wish all of you a happy valentines day! I hope you're enjoying your day and showing everyone that you love how much they mean to you, and showing yourself some love as well.

I'm not doing any of this, but not because I hate valentines day or anything. I just got busy... I went to work at 6:00 AM, then I got to give a super fun presentation about the emotional basis of moral judgements (that I may have cried over last night), went to classes until 1:45, then I went to return the shoes, then I came home and stabbed myself in the finger with a knife. Not intentionally, obviously. So, then there was a lot of drama with urgent care not being interested in checking out the stab wound on my finger that has some sort of tissue-like gunk sticking out of it. So, now I'm sitting at home, finishing off the 800 donuts that I bought this morning, catching up on my DVR (Hello, Chicago Fire), and hoping I don't die or lose a finger. Because as much as I claim to not be ashamed of my appearance, I can't promise that that wouldn't change if I lost my left index finger. Actually, it would absolutely change. And I'm 99% sure you can't get a prosthetic finger. But, I'll look into and get back to you...

Hopefully, you're valentines day will be much more fun (and less stab-woundy) than mine. Although, I'm really not sure how things can get much better than Chicago Fire, Target, and donuts (I assure you my life is not as pathetic is that just made it sound).


Wednesday, February 13, 2013

The Story of Prabal Gurung for Target and False Advertisment. (And a review of the collection)

Let's talk Prabal Gurung for a moment. 

Prabal Gurung is one of my favorite designers. I wrote a paper about one of his collections for a class sophomore year. That's how much I love his work. So, when his collaboration with Target was announced, I may have gotten stupidly excited. I would show you the texts I sent to MB (That's momma bear for those of you who don't follow my personal twitter) about it, but I'm too lazy and disappointed to look for them right now. 

I went to my local Target to scope out the collection. I got there a few minutes after 7:00, because
1. I live in south central michigan and no one here wears anything except UM and State sweats, so I assumed there wouldn't be much of a crowd.
2. I thought the store here was open 24 hours a day. It isn't.

I was the only one in the parking lot. I froze my ass of in my car for 45 minutes while texting MB and eating a mcgriddle (quit judging me). 

Prabal Gurung for Target

Prabal Gurung print dress / Prabal Gurung long sleeve cardigan / Prabal Gurung / Prabal Gurung printed blouse / Prabal Gurung green tank

So, needless to say, I didn't have to rush to grab 300 pieces and drag them into the fitting room with me. I grabbed two sizes in each piece that I was interested in and headed back to the fitting room to try clothes on at an I'm-too-tired-and-it's-too-early-to-be-shopping pace. I was pleased with the clothes, even though my local Target didn't have the pieces I was most interested in. The five pictured above are what came home with me. The clothes seemed to be good quality for Target pieces, but most of them did run a little (okay, some of them were a lot) big. Because, hello, I'm Aly and I'm not ashamed to admit that my boobs never fit into an XS. This has only happened once or twice before and it was at J.Crew, and we all know that they love their vanity sizing over there. 

Anyway, MB picked up some of the pieces that I wasn't able to find in BC at her local Target (because she's the best), and I ordered the black sandals online. These sandals were the one piece that I absolutely, without a doubt, would sell my eggs for wanted. So, I ordered them at 3:30 AM. Because I'm insane. They showed up at my door step a few minutes ago. I was so excited that I ran to the door and opened it (braless, in a t-shirt, hair-up in a messy bun, no make-up, wearing my glasses) in my IU sweatpants. Attractive, right? That poor UPS guy didn't know what hit him. 

So, I ran to my room to open the box, because, for Lord knows what reason, all 800 pairs of scissors that I own are strewn across my desk, dresser, and nightstands. And then, disappointment quickly robbed me of the shoe-high I was experiencing. Disappointment is a bitch.

Oh heeeyyyyy, false advertising. 

As you can see, those little straps on the shoes I received (right) clearly aren't what is pictured on Target's site (left).

Also, whatthehell, these straps are on backwards. On both shoes. If one of them was messed up I could be like, oh okay, manufacturing error. But whoever put this pair of shoes together was clearly dropped on their head one too many times as an infant. 

Plus, you see those fun little alligator-clip-like closures on the straps? They don't stay shut. Cue you falling out of your heels and onto your pretty little face if you try to strut around town in them. Also, they aren't round like in the picture, they are rectangular. They also are not silver, they are a steely, gun-metal gray. So, basically, Target flat out lied to my face. And yours, if you also bought these shoes. And I'm kind of pissed. But, I've been known to over exaggerate (See above paragraph about selling my eggs for Target shoes), especially when people lie to me. But, this is just cruel and deceptive trickery that Target is trying to get away with. And I'm not okay with it. So, Target will probably be hearing from me through every form of social media over the next few days. Because again, I like to over exaggerate and make sure that my point is heard.

Would you be pissed about this or am I just being Crazy Pants McGee over here today?

Also, if you ordered these shoes and they look just like they do on the website, want to let me know so that I can order another pair instead of just returning this one and complaining to the helpless store associate tomorrow afternoon?

Saturday, January 19, 2013

I'm Back...Again?

So, I've been gone for a while. Like, almost exactly 11 months. Don't feel bad if you didn't notice, the things I posted here weren't that exciting or noteworthy. But anyway, I'm back now. And I think I might stick around this time, but I'm not making any promises. Partly because I hate not being able to keep the promises I make, but mostly because I suck at commitment.

Things around here are probably going to change a bit, or a lot, whatever. I'll probably still post outfits, and I'll definitely still post recipes. Mostly because I'm fairly certain that my mom is tired of me sending her pictures of my food and bragging about how great I am (at cooking, and in general). The recipes will not be sugar-packed brownies and cupcakes anymore though, because I am following a paleo diet 99% of the time now. During that 1% of the time that I'm not eating paleo, I'm sitting on the couch eating an entire bag of Glutino's gluten free chocolate covered pretzels and suffering from a sugar high. Which is why I had the genius idea to write this post at 3:11 this morning. Who needs sleep? Not me, apparently. Or my Dad, because he just accidentally called me. At 3:35 AM. So, at least I know who to blame for my insomnia now.

That got off topic quickly...

Anyway, like I was saying, things are going to change around here, I don't know if it will be a big change or a little change. What will change, without a doubt, will be the tone of this blog. I think the reason I didn't stick with blogging before was because I didn't feel like this blog was an accurate portrayal of who I am. I felt like I was trying to say things that I thought people wanted to hear. And anyone who knows me will assure you that that doesn't happen in real life. I'm the queen of telling people the truths that they don't want to hear. - You can always count on me to be the asshole who gives you a reality check instead of telling you what you want to hear.

As much as I would love to be a super-polite, poised, southern belle all the time, that's never going to happen. It's not in the cards for me. Seriously, you should meet my relatives, it's not genetically possible. And I'm okay with that. I'm sarcastic, witty, brutally honest, bitchy, and frankly, a little rude sometimes. But, in the greatest way possible. So, there will probably be some super-opinionated posts on here, and there will absolutely be a hell of a lot of sarcasm and cursing. And probably some late night, booze-fueled posts (Sorry, Mom and Dad), because that's what happens in my life. And because I can't currently have my usual middle of the night, long-distance, drunkfest conversations with one of my favorite people because she is doing other things with her life that make this, which happens to be one of our favorite pastimes, impossible for a little while. Holy run-on fragment, batman. You would never know that I did really well in all of my english classes.

Anyway, this was a really long post to say that I'm back. Hopefully you'll stick around for this little journey. And bring your friends along, and some wine (because I don't share). Or don't. I don't judge.

(Yes, I do. I absolutely do.)


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